When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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