I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
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and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
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Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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