I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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