Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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