Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
you would pick up someone in the library
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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