that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Randomize
