She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
