Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
