we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
