we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
