R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
