Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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