Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
