if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
