I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I am puke
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
