you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Green mimosas i think yes
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
