I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
