My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?