Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.