I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake