i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
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Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
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Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot