i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
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Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
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My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises