i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
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She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
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I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit