therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
