She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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