a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
