I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Fuck appropriateness.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
He passed out mid-signature
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
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