she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
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