I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
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