i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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