Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize