I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
