There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
