Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
