so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Just invented taco cereal.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
