Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
