Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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