2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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