That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
