Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize