can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Randomize
