If that was your dad, he is hot
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
