my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
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she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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