LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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