I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize