dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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