I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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