Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
