Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
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