I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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