My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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