I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
