Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
