he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize