I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
