Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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