Have you finally orgasmed yet?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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