Don't you send me to vm
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
