Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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