Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
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