need another drink. this is the easiest way
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize