So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
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We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
What drink are we having for lunch?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
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Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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