i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
He shit in the fireplace
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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