Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
