all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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